Frozen
by RoseWalker
Summary: Arthur reflects on a moment. A/M, Death of main character, angst, established relationship, Arthur POV


**Title: **Frozen

**Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

**Spoilers: **Not that I'm aware of…

**WARNINGS:** Angst and a very serious case of DEATH of a main character. You have been warned! Established relationship. Arthur POV

**Disclaimer: **Merlin not mine *sob* It's the BBC's though I want to rob them and get away with Bradley and Colin ^_^!

**Summary:** Arthur reflects on a moment.

**Notes: **This is what happens when I get stressed out. One of my other fics nearly gave me a break down. I think this reflects in my writing. All I can do is apologise. Inspired by the song 'Frozen' by Within Temptation.

-x-

I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold  
All colours seem to fade away  
I can't reach my soul

I would stop running  
If I knew there was a chance  
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all  
But I'm forced to let go

Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you

When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen  
But what can I do?

-x-

I sit back against the headboard.

Waiting.

You lie next to me. I can feel you against me. Your eyes fixed on the ceiling, your beautiful blue, stormy eyes. I can't bear to look now. When I do, something always breaks inside me.

We had both agreed to this, but even now, its more than I can bear, to have you lying beside me like this.

Why couldn't things have been simple?

Why did you have to love me?

Why did you have to be a sorcerer?

But nothing is ever black and white. Even now I see the room in bold colour, perhaps even brighter than usual in this moment. Every sense seems to have been heightened.

Outside I can hear the birds practically screaming. The fabric of the bed linen against my skin feels too rough. The scent of sex still ligers in the air and I can feel bile rising in my throat even as I hear loud footsteps approaching my room.

The door swings open, crashing against the wall. I flinch at the noise but remain where I am. I look up and the guards seem surprised to see the tears on my face. Perhaps even more surprised to see the sight before them.

They came here expecting to arrest a sorcerer. Now they will have another job to do.

I know the dagger in my hand should be warm by now, but to me it feels as cold as an icicle.

As frozen as my heart.

I look down at the weapon as if seeing it for the first time, seeing the streak of red painted along its edge. I know I will never be able to keep it under my pillow any longer.

It was to be used for protection.

Now it has done its job.

But not protecting me.

I finally turn to see its handiwork.

You look so pale, yet calm, even knowing what was to befall you.

Your eyes are still so blue, staring aimlessly. That golden spark they once held, cruelly torn from existence.

The stripe of red across your pale throat is too vivid a colour for you. Why is it only now that I can see that?

Your blood surrounds your head, an unholy halo. Or perhaps it is the most holy of all.

We had time to make love one last time before I drew this cruel blade across your neck.

One last lingering memory of your flesh still warm. Of your voice calling my name. Of your mouth pulling up in that infernal smile.

"My lord?" Your last spell is broken as one of the guards destroys the silence.

"Get out." I growl at them, even as they remain standing there. "Get out!" I finally roar as they continue to stand. I throw the dagger in their direction only to have it embed itself in the door as they finally leave.

I would not have let father take you.

I would not let him split us apart.

I will never forgive him for what he has made me do.

I promised you that if you had to die, that it would be at my hand and my hand alone. It was a promise I had hoped to never have kept.

My sorcerer. My Merlin.

I fall against your chest, wracking sobs tearing from my throat.

The pain is more unbearable than I thought.

I want nothing but to join you in your eternal sleep.

My heart shatters.

Broken.

-END-


End file.
